How to Address a Mistress

Comment s’adresser à une maîtresse (version française ici)

  1. Use A Formal, Polite And Subservient Tone.
    If you haven’t met Queen, you won’t know her style. By using a formal tone you cover all bases. Do you want her to feel strong and powerful when she reads your message? Then show your humility, politeness and submission with your words. It will start the interaction on the right foot.
  2. Avoid Profanity at all cost
    Would you say the “F” word to your doctor or in a business meeting, if you met one of the royals? Of course not. Same applies here. Queen may eventually do very naughty things to you in the dungeon, but the first contact should be like a first date. Be on your best behavior.
  3. Be Concise: Get To The Point.
    Because there are always more sub males than Femme Dommes (a.k.a. FemDom), Mistresses often receive loads of emails from prospective subs. This means we’re BUSY, so don’t waste our time with the story of your life in the first email you ever send. Why are you contacting Queen? Do you want a session? Do you wish to become one of her slaves? Or are you just offering adoring compliments? Whatever the case, be brief. Say what you want using a small amount of words while still being polite and humble of course.
  4. Be Precise And Inclusive.
    While it’s good to keep your first message rather short (max. 10-15 sentences) omitting important information will only mean Queen needs to reply with more questions. That takes time and will delay your interaction. Here are a few tips on what you should ALWAYS include in a first message to Queen. Do you want her to smile when she reads your message? Then follow the RULES!:
    1. Your name. How will Queen set you apart from a 1000 other slaves? Do you think she’ll remember your email address? Find a catchy way to call yourself. No need to use your real name but “naughty boy” is too vague.
    2. Your location or Where you’ll travel. Many Mistresses travel a lot, so don’t assume she’s currently where her ad says she is.
    3. Your fetish interests. Write a basic short list of what you like or think you might like (if you’re still new to this).
    4. Your request. What do you want? Explain it briefly.
  5. Don’t Be Manipulative.
    In your head, you may like to act like a brat or a naughty slave. In your fantasies, you may enjoy being humiliated and insulted. But these attitudes should be saved for the dungeon only. Acting up or being “annoying” in the hope that Queen will get angry and humiliate you via email is manipulation. Queen can recognise that ruse from miles away. Yes she might get annoyed, but that will probably backfire in her ignoring your message or worse: labeling you as a “time waster” and telling all her domme friends to blacklist you too.
  6. A Photo Of Your Penis Says “I’m A Dick”.
    As much as most males have a fascination with female nudity, the opposite is not true. Most women don’t want to see your manhood before getting to know you. A Mistress will rarely care what your appendage looks like. Even if your fantasy is “small cock humiliation” it still doesn’t matter. Your private parts should be kept private until Queen asks to see them (that goes for your butt as well).
  7. DO Your Homework.
    Before asking Queen a hundred questions, read her website and consult her social medias. If you want a session, check her fetish interests. Your answer may already be there and this will again streamline your contact with Her. Also, some Mistresses spend a lot of time writing so showing that you’ve the spent time to read what she’s all about is also a sign of respect and that your intentions are more than just seeking for attention.
  8. Avoid Ping Pong Messages.
    After reading Queen’s profile, website and social medias, you may still have questions. That is fine, but put all your questions in one message. Back and forth one liner messaging is so annoying!
  9. Language, Grammar, Punctuation & Spelling.
    Google Translate and Grammarly are fabulous tools: USE them! If you did your homework, you will know that Queen speaks English and French. French is her first and preferred language but as she’s sensitive to the beauty of languages, write in English if you do not know French well. No other languages will be accepted. You should be working hard to contact her, not the other way around.
    If Queen has to decode your message because you have poor language skills, she may see that as a sign of your laziness. Also, poor use of grammar means it will be harder for her to understand what you want. If your message is too much effort, Queen might ignore you.
  10. Express Yourself.
    Even with all these rules, there’s still space to be yourself. Queen likes subservient, polite and well-spoken subs, but doesn’t want robots (well, maybe for a sci-fi scene, but not at all times!). So find a way to show a bit of your personality. What’s special about you? No need to write your life story, but a little bit can go a long way! Be Creative!


To guide you, here is an example of good and bad messages.

A bad message

Hey babe/sexy/honey Can we chat sometime? Ur so hot! Your pics make me hard can i be your slave?

A good message

Dear Mistress,

I’m very impressed with your photos and profile. You are so stunning and dominant. I live in [city, country]. Do you ever visit here? I’m interested in [fetish list] and would love to serve as your slave. It would be an honor to be in your presence. What is the most convenient time for a session, Queen?

Patiently awaiting your instructions.

Content adapted from this page by
Kalyss Mercury

(Version française ici)